Divorce in the Bible

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Divorce in the Bible

by Mark S. Haughwout

First published January 30, 2009 – Last updated: February 4, 2009

Table of Contents

Introduction

Relevant Scriptures

Genesis 2:18ff
Deuteronomy 24:1-5 – the certificate of divorce
2^nd Samuel 3:13-16 – the return of Michal to David
Isaiah 50:1
Jeremiah 3:8,14
Hosea
Malachi 2:13-16 - God hates Divorce
Matthew 5:31-32
Matthew 19:3-9
Mark 10:10
Luke 16:18
Romans 7:2-3
1^st Corinthians 7 (v12 – I, not the Lord)

Conclusion

Bibliography

Introduction:

Divorce is rampant in American Society and in the American Church. Traditionally the church has stood against divorce and especially against remarriage after divorce. This paper is an attempt to review the relevant scriptures in order to gain an understanding of God’s will for those who are married, for those who are divorced and for those who are remarried. All scriptures are taken from the New King James Version (NKJV) unless otherwise noted. Most importantly for the believer, is to understand the scriptures and follow Jesus for themselves. No pastor, elder, or teacher can give anyone an excuse to divorce. In saying this, I must stress that my comments are my own observations from what I believe is obvious in the scriptures. However I encourage the reader to learn the truth for themselves. Feedback is appreciated and will be incorporated into future versions of this paper as seems fitting.

Relevant Scriptures:

The following passages speak directly to the issue of marriage and especially divorce. The bible contains several other scriptures that deal solely with marriage, both in its regulations and in how to have a happy one. This paper is primarily dealing with the issue of divorce and thus limits itself to the following scriptures which are reproduced below for convenience.

Genesis 2:18ff

Deuteronomy 24:1-5

2^nd Samuel 3:13-16 – the return of Michal to David

Isaiah 50:1

Jeremiah 3:8,14

Malachi 2:13-16 - God hates Divorce

Matthew 5:31-32

Matthew 19:3-9

Mark 10:10

Luke 16:18

Romans 7:2-3

1^st Corinthians 7 (v12 – I, not the Lord)

Genesis 2:18-25

"And the LORD God said, “It is not good that man should be alone; I will make him a helper comparable to him.” Out of the ground the LORD God formed every beast of the field and every bird of the air, and brought them to Adam to see what he would call them. And whatever Adam called each living creature, that was its name. So Adam gave names to all cattle, to the birds of the air, and to every beast of the field. But for Adam there was not a helper comparable to him.

And the LORD God caused a deep sleep to fall on Adam, and he slept; and He took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh in its place. Then the rib which the LORD God had taken from man He made into a woman, and He brought her to the man.

And Adam said:

“This is now bone of my bones And Flesh of my flesh; She shall be called Woman, Because she was taken out of Man.” Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.

And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and were not ashamed."

We see here God’s original intention for marriage. Jesus stated, “what God has joined together, let no man separate” (see Matt. 19 below). It is important to note that sex alone may be implied without a ‘marriage’ ceremony. Adam and Eve had no one conducting a marriage ceremony and no marriage certificate. They simply became ‘one flesh’. The original intention was that sex and marriage would be synonymous, virtually equal terms. Only because of sin did the terms come to have such separate meanings.

Deuteronomy 24:1-5

“When a man takes a wife and marries her, and it happens that she finds no favor in his eyes because he has found some uncleanness in her, and he writes her a certificate of divorce, puts it in her hand, and sends her out of his house, when she has departed from his house, and goes and becomes another man’s wife, if the latter husband detests her and writes her a certificate of divorce, puts it in her hand, and sends her out of his house, or if the latter husband dies who took her as his wife, then her former husband who divorced her must not take her back to be his wife after she has been defiled; for that is an abomination before the LORD, and you shall not bring sin on the land which the LORD your God is giving you as an inheritance.

“When a man has taken a new wife, he shall not go out to war or be charged with any business; he shall be free at home one year, and bring happiness to his wife whom he has taken."

To divorce one’s wife, knowing full well she will remarry and have sex with another man and then to take her back is an abomination. This is where Jesus word’s “he causes her to commit adultery” apply. This seems to be similar to the sin of ‘wife swapping’ or ‘swinging’.

2^nd Samuel 3:13-16

And David said, “Good, I will make a covenant with you. But one thing I require of you: you shall not see my face unless you first bring Michal, Saul’s daughter, when you come to see my face.” So David sent messengers to Ishbosheth, Saul’s son, saying, “Give me my wife Michal, whom I betrothed to myself for a hundred foreskins of the Philistines.” And Ishbosheth sent and took her from her husband, from Paltiel the son of Laish. Then her husband went along with her to Bahurim, weeping behind her. So Abner said to him “Go, return!” And he returned.

In 1^st Samuel 18:27 King Saul had given Michal to David for a wife. Later, David’s wife Michal was declared free from her marriage to David by the same government: But Saul had given Michal his daughter, David’s wife, to Palti the son of Laish, who was from Gallim. (1^st Samuel 25:44).

Perhaps Saul justified giving her away due to David’s disappearance, or his being considered a felon and one deserving the death penalty according to the government. Thus Michal was “legally” remarried. However, David took her back from her second husband. The divorce granted by an unjust government, did not override David’s right as her husband. He never gave her a certificate of divorce. Her new marriage was not valid and was only adultery, albeit perhaps in ignorance, especially on the part of her new husband. Thus it was annulled. Her new husband may have been liable to death, but found mercy, probably because he married her with a pure heart, not knowing her husband still existed.

Isaiah 50:1

Thus says the LORD: “Where is the certificate of your mother’s divorce, Whom I have put away? Or which of My creditors is it to whom I have sold you? For your iniquities you have sold yourselves, And for your transgressions your mother has been put away.

Jeremiah 3:8,14

Then I saw that for all the causes for which backsliding Israel had committed adultery, I had put her away and given her a certificate of divorce; yet her treacherous sister Judah did not fear, but went and played the harlot also…

…”Return, O backsliding children,” says the LORD; “for I am married to you…

Here we see adultery by the wife as grounds for her husband to divorce her, but the LORD's desire is not for divorce but reconciliation.

Hosea

The book of Hosea is an important example of a husband forgiving an adulterous wife and taking her back.

Malachi 2:13-16

And this is the second thing you do: You cover the altar of the LORD with tears, With weeping and crying; So He does not regard the offering anymore, Nor receive it with goodwill from your hands. Yet you say, “For what reason?” Because the LORD has been witness Between you and the wife of your youth, With whom you have dealt treacherously; Yet she is your companion And your wife by covenant. But did He not make them one, Having a remnant of the Spirit? And why one? He seeks godly offspring. Therefore take heed to your spirit, And let none deal treacherously with the wife of his youth. “For the LORD God of Israel says That He hates divorce, For it covers one’s garment with violence,” Says the LORD of hosts. “Therefore take heed to your spirit, That you do not deal treacherously.”

Matthew 5:31-32

“Furthermore it has been said, ‘Whoever divorces his wife, let him giver her a certificate of divorce.’ But I say to you that whoever divorces his wife for any reason except sexual immorality causes her to commit adultery; and whoever marries a woman who is divorced commits adultery.”

Matthew 19:3-9

"The Pharisees also came to Him, testing Him, and saying to Him, “Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for just any reason?” And He answered and said to them, “Have you not read that He who made them at the beginning ‘made them male and female,’ and said ‘For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh’? So then, they are no longer two but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no man separate.” They said to Him, “Why then did Moses command to give a certificate of divorce, and to put her away?” He said to them, “Moses, because of the hardness of your hearts, permitted you to divorce your wives, but from the beginning it was not so. And I say to you, whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery; and whoever marries her who is divorced commits adultery.”

His disciples said to Him, “If such is the case of the man with his wife, it is better not to marry.” But He said to them, “All cannot accept this saying, but only those to whom it has been given: For there are eunuchs who were born thus from their mother’s womb, and there are eunuchs who were made eunuchs by men, and there are eunuchs who have made themselves eunuchs for the kingdom of heaven’s sake. He who is able to accept it, let him accept it.”

Then little children were brought to Him that He might put His hands on them and pray, but the disciples rebuked them. But Jesus said, “Let the little children come to Me, and do not forbid them; for of such is the kingdom of heaven.” And He laid His hands on them and departed from there."

Mark 10:2-13

"The Pharisees came and asked Him, “Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife?” testing Him.

And He answered and said to them, “What did Moses command you?” They said, “Moses permitted a man to write a certificate of divorce, and to dismiss her.”

And Jesus answered and said to them, “Because of the hardness of your heart he wrote you this precept. But from the beginning of the creation, God ‘made them male and female.’ ‘For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh’; so then they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no man separate.”

In the house His disciples also asked Him again about the same matter. So He said to them, “Whoever divorces his wife and marries another commits adultery against her. And if a woman divorces her husband and marries another, she commits adultery.”

The they brought little children to Him…"

Luke 16:18

“Whoever divorces his wife and marries another commits adultery; and whoever marries her who is divorced from her husband commits adultery.”

This passage seems to be the same account as the Matthew 5 passage above.

Romans 7:1-3

"Or do you not know, brethren (for I speak to those who know the law), that the law has dominion over a man as long as he lives? For the woman who has a husband is bound by the law to her husband as long as he lives. But if the husband dies, she is released from the law of her husband. So then if, while her husband lives, she marries another man, she will be called an adulteress; but if her husband dies, she is free from that law, so that she is no adulteress, though she has married another man."

1^st Corinthians 7:10ff

"Now to the married I command, yet not I but the Lord: A wife is not to depart from her husband. But even if she does depart, let her remain unmarried or be reconciled to her husband. And a husband is not to divorce his wife.

But to the rest I, not the Lord, say: If any brother has a wife who does not believe, and she is willing to live with him, let him not divorce her. And a woman who has a husband who does not believe, if he is willing to live with her, let her not divorce him. For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband; otherwise your children would be unclean, but now they are holy. But if the unbeliever departs, let him depart; a brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases. But God has called us to peace. For how do you know, O wife, whether you will save your husband? Or how do you know, O husband, whether you will save your wife?...
…(v39) A wife is bound by law as long as her husband lives; but if her husband dies, she is at liberty to be married to whom she wishes, only in the Lord."

Paul, in giving his personal opinion, seems to say that if the unbelieving spouse divorces because he or she doesn't want to live with a believer, then the believer is free to remarry. Although Paul never actually says they are free to remarry, he says they are not bound, which implies free to remarry. Notice the use of the word ‘bound’ in v39 and in Romans 7. It is also important to point out that if the unbeliever is willing to stay, the believer is not to divorce. The unbeliever will act like an unbeliever, and the believer must not complain or use the unbeliever’s behavior as an excuse for divorce. Paul gives no right of divorce to the believer here!

Conclusion

Those who have been divorced should consider seeking reconciliation with their spouses or remaining single. Those who have had ‘cheating’ spouses should give serious consideration to forgiving their spouses.

Consideration also needs to be given to the seriousness of taking vows before the Lord. It is extremely serious to break a vow made before the Lord.

The recent idea of finding one's "soulmate" is misleading. Regardless of whether someone feels such a bond to their spouse, they must not give up on the marriage. Divorce is not God's will for a marriage. Christians are called to persevere through difficult times, even in marriage.

Bibliography